That they are the one
So many ways to express love
It's hard to choose just one
How you gonna do it
Some people like to kiss, some people like to hug,
Some lesbians like eating each other's shit out of a cup
Some people say "i love you," some even shout it out
Some people puke semi-digested shit into each other's mouths
Sometimes making love's not enough,
You have to step it up
And urinating on her face
Is not enough to say "i love you"
She's covered in vomit and human feces
That how i know that she needs me.
Have you ever watched the sun go down?
And you're thinking bout' the world spinning round
Have you ever been high as fuck?
You're in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself
And your dog's looking at you like you need help
Have you ever been high as fuck?
And then you feel your heart pumping really fast
And you're convinced that you're gonna have a heart attack
Have you ever been high as fuck?
You close your eyes and you're on a chicken farm
The only problem's that the chickens have human arms
You say "that's fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?"
You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high
So you walk around the block to buy some time
You finally decide to go into the store
But you're so high you don't know why you're there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of there
You're walking home and you're mouth is dry
You should have bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high
Thinking 'bout ketchup chips
And for some reason the game battleship
And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games
like battleship when you were a kid
and how, as we get older we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves
so you say "Guess What? I'm gonna make up a game right now
and it involves a baseball bat and a porcupine
and I'm gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat
but then you don't know where to find a porcupine so
you do a search on ebay but people don't sell porcupines on the internet
and you say "Guess what world?" you've got me cornered again
I'm gonna roll another joint
You ever eat a whole bag of crackers that were so old
That they weren't crispy anymore?
Have you ever been high... as fuck?
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And my sexual performances is average
I work at customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save this shit is off the hook
And i am not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
last time I had sex was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once a month Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see the dentist
I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a fucking STD
if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough
If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
and if you got a bad back put your hands up
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
My parents are really nice people Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I like the show "Greys Anatomy" Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I am pretty good at making paper planes
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